Hello, loves! Today, I’m sharing 7 recent pieces with insights I wanted to pass on. I love to share experiences, wisdom, and studies that can help to be not just more open and confident, but also more discerning and strategic in your romantic pursuits.
Starting today, every weekend on completelove.life will link you up to some other experts in the field, whose insights complement our regular content.
Welcome to first edition of the weekly reader! This week’s theme is common problems, flags, and how to overcome them. So cozy up, grab your cup of tea or coffee, relax for a moment, and let’s dive in.
From MyPressFly: The 4 most common reasons for divorce, according to research
No one goes into marriage thinking they’ll get divorced; on your wedding day, you vow to stick with your partner for better or worse. But unfortunately, no matter how much love and promise a couple starts out with, relationships can sour, and couples end up getting unhitched for a number of reasons.
An intriguing new study of people who recently split with their spouse took a closer look at some of those reasons, shedding light on the most common factors that cause couples to go their separate ways. read more
The researchers were particularly interested in a phenomenon known as indirect support seeking — meaning sulking, whining, fidgeting, and/or displaying sadness to elicit support. People are believed to engage in this type of indirect communication because they fear being rejected. read more
From PsychCentral: 5 unhealthy relationship patterns set up by childhood emotional neglect
When you grow up with your parents under-noticing, under-validating, and under-responding to your feelings (the definition of Childhood Emotional Neglect) you learn exactly how to squelch your own emotions. Your child brain effectively walls off your feelings so they will not trouble or burden your parents.
Childhood Emotional Neglect blocks off the most powerful, valuable, and vital ingredient in every marriage and the key to successful intimacy: your feelings…. If you see these relationship patterns in your marriage, please do not despair. There are answers! Because Childhood Emotional Neglect is not a disease or a life sentence. It can be healed. read more
From Harper’s Bazaar: Men have no friends, and women bear the burden
“Men are taught that feelings are a female thing,” muses Johnson, whose husband often complains about her wanting to “talk deep.” Though Johnson brags about how wonderful her husband is—grateful he doesn’t exhaust her with his neediness like a lot of her married friends—she does wish men were encouraged to examine and explore their emotions in a safe setting, like therapy, before they boil over. “I’m tired of having to replace another broken bedside table because he didn’t realize he needed to talk about his feelings,” she admits. read more
From Women’s Health: 11 signs of an emotionally unavailable partner, and WTH to do about it
Think back to when you were involved with someone who threw you into the emotional wringer. A friend probably called the guy as “emotionally unavailable,” to which you nodded enthusiastically as you triple-checked your phone. (Nope, still no response to your text from seven hours ago.) read more
Being head-over-heels for a guy during the honeymoon phase can have you feeling like he could really be the one. It’s in the early phase of dating or getting in a new relationship where we’re focusing on security, intimacy, trust, friendship, and communication–while sometimes ignoring the important signs of bae not really wanting the long-term commitment you’re hoping to get.
When we’re at a point that we prioritize our partner, we tend to want to focus on the best parts of them. However, this could lead us to immediately ignoring red flags like him being emotionally unavailable, manipulative, or a player. This is known as falling for potential. read more
From Terry Gaspard: After an argument, focus on repair, not damage
In over 40 years of research in his classic “Love Lab” studies, Dr. John Gottman discovered that the number one solution to marital problems is to get good at repair skills. He explains that repair attempts allow a couple to get back on track after a dispute and are an important way to avoid resentment. A repair attempt is any statement or action – verbal, physical, or otherwise – intended to diffuse negativity and keep a conflict from escalating. read more
Which article had a tip that resonated for you? Feel free to discuss in the comments!